I met Santa in the mall

I've been told in the past I look like a young Santa, or Kris Kringle.



Q- Santa, how much do you weigh?
A- How much coal do you want in your stocking?

On Saturday I met Santa Claus.
This being the month of March he was in civilian clothes.
I commented on how nicely trimmed his beard was and how I always have a hard time once I start trimming or shaping mine because I can never get it even.

Of course I didn't start out by asking him who he was,
or pressing him for information or affirmation of occupation.
I'm told Canadians generally are pretty polite around celebrities.

He told me about a year he spent working in Egypt with the UN.
He said the beard wasn't much trouble at all. He kept it fairly short.
He asked me about my last name and I told him it was from England but derived in Scandanavia.
He said that sounded about right.

His vision wasn't the best and his hearing aids seemed to make conversation a little difficult in the crowded mall. I was working a table at a local health fair; answering questions about medical treatments, various effective modalities, and the new LED system that used blue and red light for reinvigorating a person's face by stimulating cell growth. He asked if it was ok to feel the length of my beard.

How can you say no to the kindly old elf with a twinkle in his voice and a quaver in his eye? Besides, we were having too much fun chuckling and telling stories.

Our conversation continued on to our various travels about the world. I told him about my time in Africa. He talked about spending some time during his youth in Scotland. He knew someone on a board somewhere with a last name like mine. Definitely Scandanavian.

He asked me if I'd seen which way his wife had gone as his eyesight wasn't the best. Then he asked me how many reindeer there are. To which I responded that I'd have to count them out loud.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
four fingers checked.

Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen,
four more..

Rudolph... and Olive the other Reindeer made 10 in all.

He chuckled and said I knew all his material.

He told me that his wife was going around to look at the other tables. She was looking for more information on diabetes. She knew all about it and was always keeping an eye out for new information; new methods and modalities. He himself didn't pay any attention to it. Between the two of them and their attitudes he told me there was a healthy balance.

She came up alongside and announced that it was time to go get some lunch to eat otherwise she'd get cranky due to low blood sugar. Said she could feel her hands starting to shake a little bit.

He leaned over and said that if a kid asks why they didn't get a certain present they asked for last year that it was cause they ask too many questions.

Then they were gone.

I continued greeting people from behind my table, passing out information, and smiling and collecting entries for the LED Facial draw. I drank my tea and played with one of the helium balloons tied to the bench nearby. I'd balance it under my hand out to my side while looking forward and keeping an eye on the crowd. I discovered a downdraft from the internal heating system and put the balloon in it to dance and play. It looked pretty neat. One of the Naturopaths thought so too as she caught my eye and smiled. Or she thought I was an odd fellow. Maybe a bit of both.

Then he was back. "Kids can tell a fake Ho Ho Ho.. it needs to come from down deep. It comes from one's inner joviality. It can't be faked." He covertly reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. He handed it to me face down and said it was his job for part of the year. I turned it over and it was my business card I'd given to him earlier. He took it back and showed me a different one. I didn't need to ask him for confirmation. I didn't have to ask him if he was, ya know, Him. I didn't bring it up. He dropped the card right in my hand.

What do you do the day AFTER Christmas?
Play with the bad boys and girls' toys of course!

Before he left again he leaned in and, placing his hand on my arm, told me that one day I'd be a good Santa. Then he asked me if I could see his wife anywhere. She pulled up alongside with a shopping cart and off they went.

And I know it sounds more than a little corny but I swear, as they were moving away, he turned around, looked me right in the eyes, and winked.